About Brian...

About Brian...

I moved back to my hometown La Crosse in 1988, after living in Phoenix for the previous year. My parents sold the house I grew up in so I had to go out and get my first apartment. It was a small studio/efficiency apartment – basically one large room and a separate bathroom.

I was working at the golf course, working outdoors was always nice. Life in the apartment was boring – I’m a socially needy person, and outside of work I didn't have much to do. Most of my high school buddies joined teh service or headed off to college. After a couple weeks an old friend named Brian moved back to La Crosse. We quickly decide to be roommates to share the rent and utilities, and have a little comradery.

At first things were nice. Brian got a job working at Rocky Rococo’s, while I worked at the golf course. We had evenings to hang out and do stuff. We couldn't go out to the bars because we were only twenty, but I did show him some of the higlights of the city for our age.

I rode my bicycle everywhere because I couldn’t afford my car insurance, and Brian rode his bicycle because he didn’t own a car. Brian told me stories about riding to nearby towns, and I’d tell him I didn’t believe him. I challenged him on his ride to Coon Valley and back (35 miles round trip). I asked him a few questions about the highway and his answers didn’t add up.

I challenged him right then-and-there to ride to Coon Valley and back. After a while he accepted my dare, or he'd have been a real chicken in my book. We started off and it began to rain, so Brian asked,

“Do you want to quit and try it another day?”

I told him something to the effect that a house never fell on my sister, so I wasn’t about to melt! We continued on. My front tire slipped out on a turn and I got a really nasty road rash on my knee. Brian asked if I wanted to do it another day, and I offered back,

“It’s only a scratch. I ain’t got time to bleed!”

The ride went up Irish Hill and long steep hill that lasts for 10 grueling miles. My knee was still bleeding pretty good, so I tore the bottom of my shirt off to wrap it around my leg. Brian was well ahead of me during the climb up Irish Hill, but I blew past him on the top of the hill on the way to Coon Valley. I stopped at the edge of the city, pointed into town and said this was it, unless he wanted to go deeper into town.

Brian was huffing and puffing and generally looking like he needed a good rest. I wanted to get home in time to catch the 10:30 rerun of M.A.S.H., so I told him,

“I’m heading down the hill and I’m not going to wait, unless you need me to?”

He didn't so I raced back, going very fast down Irish Hill, and made it home with plenty of time before the show started. Within a half hour of relaxing my knee started swelling, getting stiff and sore. Brian made it home for the last few minutes of the show.

My knee was so sore and stiff the next morning. I was in agony for the next three days. I had to tough it out at work, and had no choice but to ride my bike everywhere I went, because I had no car insurance. Brian was very careful as to when he’d challenge me on stuff from that point on.

Brian quickly made a few friends – Jay and Russ from Altus, Oklahoma. My introduction to Russ and Jay was arriving home, earlier than expected, from an out-of-town wedding and seeing a party at the apartment. I left a horrible first impression on them and they left a horrible first impression on me. I yelled at Russ for riding my bike in the parking lot. I entered the apartment and proceeded to yell at everyone else for things like spilling Mountain Dew on my records. Within minutes everyone thought I was an ass, the party died down, and people went home.

Over the next few weeks I talked Jay and Russ, and we started to become friends. They told me about Brian’s plan to fly them up to Minneapolis for a weekend because he was a pilot and flew the company Learjet for Heileman’s. Heileman’s was a brewery, at the time the country’s third largest, and corporate HQ was La Crosse, WI. I explained to the guys it was total bullshit, Brian was the night cleaner for Rocky Rococo’s, a local deep dish pizza joint. They asked me about a few other dubious claims.

Soon Jay & Russ were my friends and Brian was the outsider. The boys were sick of all his lies, so we made a game out of avoiding him. We hung out at Jay’s mother’s house, where Jay & Russ lived. We ate everything in site, and made fun of Jay’s younger troubled sister Leah - times were good! Jay’s mother got sick of the games we played to avoid Brian. We get her or Leah to answer the phone and say we weren't around. We'd have people tell him we'd meet at some time and place with no intention of going there. One night Jay's mom told us we had to hang out with him that night or get banned from her refrigerator – no more free food.

By this time Brian had another job working for Low Lincoln-Mercury. He spent his days polishing and moving cars around. Earlier that day he had to drive to Winona with another dealership employee to pick up a 4-wheel drive Jeep and drive it back to La Crosse. The rule was if you got back and the dealership was closed you take that vehicle home for the night.

Well, Brian called, we took the call and told him if he picked us up we could all go to the movies. It was a Tuesday, because we went to the theater for dollar night. I don’t remember what movie we saw, but afterwards we went for pizza and then to Goose Island State Park.

We arrived at the park a few minutes before the 11:00 closing time. We tried successfully a few times to get Brian to do spinouts on the park’s flat areas in the snow. We spotted an open field and jokingly told Brian to head down there and race all over the place. The Jeep got stuck faster than cop can eat a doughnut.

Brian tried to rock the Jeep back-and-forth a few times attempting to get unstuck. He failed. Brian decided to head into town to get a tow. Jay and Russ always argued with each other about who knew more about cars, so when Brian was gone they tried the back-and-forth motion by quickly switching from drive to reverse. I stood outside and watched this folley unfold.

A few minutes of this will make your transmission get VERY hot. The heat combined with a leak caused a small grass fire under the Jeep. I never saw the boys from Oklahoma move so fast as when they abandoned the Jeep and ran for cover before it exploded. I smothered the fire by kicking snow on it.

After an eternity, it seemed, Brian arrived with the tow. A few minutes later Deputy Bakalars did as well. He was a well known no nonsense deputy who patrolled the park. He allowed kids to be kids as long as they weren’t in danger, and looked te other way over a little grass smoking or drinking. That earned trust among the kids that frequented the park. Bakalars questioned Brian for about a half hour as the tow operator got the Jeep back on the road.

Deputy Bakalars then came to us while Brian was settling the bill with the tow guy. He told us the story Brian told about swerving to miss the deer. We all backed his story. We wanted to show a united front and we could get home and stay out of jail for intentionally trying to go off-roading in the park. Bakalars had one more question for us,

“Boys, did that deer have fucking wings?”

I replied,

“Yes sir, it did!”

On the way home the transmission made an awful racket. Russ told Brian,

“It could be the transmission?”

I have no idea what happened to Brian after our lease was up. Jay joined the Marines, washed out, and ended up back in Altus, OK married with a kid. Russell joined the Army and ended up on the National Honor Guard for a while. He impregnated a friend ours and later ended up back in Altus.

I miss those guys!