Séamus William Cotter
Séamus was delivered by Caesarean at 2:19pm Wednesday, May 28, 2008.
Here's how it went, I was placed in a holding area while they prepped Karen, they pulled me in just before the fun part (Cesarean). There was a drape just below Karen's neck (I think to prevent shock in case they saw that was being done to her). The OB did his big slice, and allowed me to peek over the drape. I saw him reach in and pull out feet, an abdomen, shoulders, then a giant baby head! He really looked like an alien!
The OB unwrapped the cord from the baby's neck (wrapped around twice). I looked down to see that Karen was alright, then the OB handed Séamus off to the "Stork Squad" - a team to take care of premature babies. They cleaned off the slimy white reside, and asked me over to cut the cord. I think it was mostly symbolic, because it was already cut, I just trimmed it down a bit. The cord was really rubbery and I had to cut several times to get all the way through (I was also using my left hand).
The next thing I noticed was the mystery guest; Tom Cruise. Sorry, the eBay auction is over, Tom Cruise won the placenta. He quickly gathered up the cord and placenta and sat in the corner and started to eat. He couldn't stay for long, as he had won another auction in Cleveland, after that he left to go and mumbled something about some alien named Xenu?
I followed the "Stork Squad" down the hall to the NICU for evaluations. They poked and prodded him, while he screamed like a baby. Special arrangements were made for Karen to recover from surgery in the NICU (thank you L&D nurse Joy).
He weighed in at a normal weight of 6 pounds 15 ounces (actually big for 35 weeks), and measured 19 inches. He has 10 fingers & 10 toes, and lots of hair with the hairline of his Grandpa Mort (Dick). He has the same pouty lower lip as his mother. Mother has asked to wait until she is home before receiving visitors.
5/29/2008
Karen has been up and out of bed and into a wheelchair this morning to feed Séamus. Karen said she was pain free and the OB said she was healing fine.
Séamus is already a proud member of the American Homebrew Association (member #185707 ).
Séamus spent his first hours under a warming light, like they use at McDonalds to keep the old & dry burgers warm. It was like an EasyBake® oven, for a baby. Once it was determined he could keep his temp up, he was moved to a acrylic bucket.
Séamus had high levels of Bilirubin, so he was moved again. This time, because his grandmother works at K-Mart they placed him a special kennel with a powerful Blue Light. This will help his skin metabolize the Bilirubin so he can go back to the acrylic bucket.
Séamus must be a student of Oedipus, as he has taken to the boobs of his mother quickly. The boy got to second base with Karen way faster than I ever did! [Sorry, no pictures of Karen's boobs at this time!] I have a story if you want to read about boobs, or if you really must see boobs, try this!
Fortunately I did get some time with him. Here we are plotting our world domination plans.
Karen's friend Samantha said I need to get Karen a "Push Present." Since there wasn't much pushing, I figured I could get away with a smaller present. Here Karen is eating the Rice Krispy Treat I got her at the hospital cafeteria. Rice Krispy Treats are one of her favorite things (along with shoes) and the Fairview Ridges Hospital's cafeteria makes some of the very best around.
Baby has quickly learned to suck, but tires out quickly. He's had his first wiz, and I already heard him fart (takes after dad). UPDATE: - Séamus pooped!
Séamus' college fund has already started from the Ad revenue from this site. Feel free to look around at other pages, but check back here for updates and commentary! I have Karen's eventual run for office planned out, a recipe for laundry soap, and Irrational Diversions.
When Karen gets home we will begin to take appointments. Holding the baby will run $10 for five minutes. Changing a dirty diaper will run $2.00.